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Why Do Families Fall Apart? Introduction: A. The family, God's ordained unit for society 1.
The family has been experiencing difficulties of alarming
proportions in recent times. a)
Isaac's family had similar problems and we can learn some of
the things that cause families to fall apart by looking at Isaac’s family. b)
If the family is “one of God’s masterpieces”, then many of these
masterpieces have become pieces because they forgot the Master. 2.
Had you been alive during patriarchal times, you probably would
have predicted great success for Isaac and Rebekah. a)
Isaac was a dedicated man who had put himself on the altar in
obedience to the Lord (Genesis 22; b)
He trusted God to choose his wife for him (Genesis 24); and the
wife God sent, Isaac loved (24:67). c)
Both Isaac and Rebekah knew how to pray and seek the mind of the
Lord for their home (25:19-23). 3.
But in spite of these things the family self-destructed when Isaac
became old. a)
Why? Because the members of the family substituted scheming for
believing so each could have his own way. I.
A Father Who Didn’t Finish
Well (Genesis 27:1-4) A. Isaac acted in secret (Genesis 27:1). 1.
During the twenty-three years he was president of Moody Bible
Institute in a)
God answered his prayer, and Dr. Culbertson did end his race in
victory, but that isn’t true of every believer. b)
A good beginning doesn’t guarantee a good ending. c)
That’s one of the repeated lessons in Scripture: d)
Add Isaac to that list. e)
If ever a man was blessed with a great beginning, it was Isaac.
f)
Yet he ended his life under a cloud. 2.
Notice that he called only Esau to his bedside. 3.
No one else was called or told of the great occasion about to
take place. 4.
Isaac knew he was disobeying God, so he called Esau in secret. B. Isaac disobeyed God (25:23) 1.
He put his desires ahead of the Lord. a)
Isaac was sure he was going to die, and yet his greatest desire
was to enjoy a good meal. b)
When Isaac’s father Abraham prepared for death, his concern was
to get a bride for his son and maintain the covenant promise. (1)When King David came to the
end of his life, he made arrangements for the building of the temple (2)Paul’s burden before his martyrdom
was that Timothy be faithful to preach the Word and guard the faith. c)
But Isaac wanted only one thing: a meal of venison. 2.
He disobeyed God’s command. a)
Before the boys were born, God had told Isaac and Rebekah that
Jacob, the younger son, was to receive the covenant blessing (vv. 19-23); yet
Isaac planned to give the blessing to Esau. b)
Surely Isaac knew that Esau had despised his birthright and sold
it to Jacob and that Esau had disqualified himself by marrying heathen women.
c)
Did Isaac really think he could fool God and give the blessing
to worldly, unbelieving Esau? C. Isaac fell to the flesh (Genesis 27:2) 1.
Isaac thought that the time was short. a)
He was probably somewhere around 137 years old, which meant
that Esau and Jacob were about 77 years old (H.C. Leupold, p.735). b)
Isaac was blind. (1)However, Isaac was to
live over forty years after this event (Genesis 35:28-29). 2.
He lived by his feelings. a)
Blind and bedridden you would think would make him trust God and
seek His help. b)
Instead, Isaac rejected the way of faith and depended on his own
senses: taste (vv. 4, 9, 25), touch (v. 21), hearing (v. 22), and smell (v. 27).
c)
“There are many plans in
a man’s heart, nevertheless, the Lord’s counsel—that will stand” (Prov. 19:21). d)
Most people today make their decisions solely on the basis of
how they feel, not what God says in His Word. 3.
How could Isaac, who followed God ever so closely, go against
God’s will? a)
This is difficult to understand until we remember: the
weakness and desires of our flesh, the deep cravings to do what we want and
what we think is best. b)
The desires of our flesh run so deep that there is a conflict
between doing what we want and doing what God says. c)
Isaac gave in to the desires of his flesh. D. Isaac completely ignored the irresponsible behavior of Esau
(Genesis 27:3) 1.
Esau had been rebellious all his life with no desire for spiritual
things. 2.
In spite of this, Isaac had taken great pride in Esau’s
ability in outdoor things. E. Isaac followed the customs of the day (Genesis 27:4) 1.
This probably helped ease Isaac’s conscience somewhat, for he
was just doing what most other fathers did: bestowing their blessings upon
their older sons and celebrating the occasion with a festive banquet. 2.
He probably thought what so many of us think when we are rationalizing within
our minds: “God could not look upon me with too much disfavor, for everyone
else does this.” II. A Mother Who Was Deceptive (Genesis 27:5-17) A. Rebekah’s faith was limited 1.
Faith is living without scheming; and faith means obeying God
no matter how we feel, what we think, or what might happen. 2.
The obedience of faith was the secret of Abraham’s life (Heb.
11:8), but the absence of obedient faith brought trouble to this family. 3.
She just did not have faith enough to believe that God could
work the situation out, that he could bring the blessing upon Jacob some
other way. 4.
She set out to bring about God’s will and purpose through her
own efforts. B. Rebekah did not talk to her husband when she thought he was
wrong (Genesis 27:5) 1.
When Isaac sent for Esau to come to his tent, Rebekah noticed
it and stayed close by to learn what was happening. a)
Later, when Esau revealed that he planned to kill his brother,
Rebekah also heard that (Genesis 27:42); b)
She must have had some experience at eavesdropping on family affairs.
2.
It’s tragic when a husband and wife no longer discuss God’s Word
or pray together about the issues in their lives. 3.
She knew that Isaac was wrong and about to commit a terrible sin
and yet she did not talk with him. C. Rebekah schemed against her husband (Genesis 27 :6-10) 1.
Rebekah immediately took matters into her own hands to make sure
her favorite son got what the Lord had promised him. 2.
Rebekah chose to control Jacob and deceive her husband. 3.
The New Testament commentary on this scene is a)
Isaac was depending on his own physical senses, but Rebekah was
depending on the wisdom of the world. b)
However, the world’s wisdom always leads to trouble. “For where
envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing will be there” (James
3:16, 4.
So quickly did Rebekah outline her plan that we suspect she must
have thought it through well in advance. 5.
Rebekah used a human method to achieve God’s will and
whatever is not of faith is sin! D. Rebekah manipulated her own sons (Genesis 27:11-17) 1.
But Rebekah planned to use the skins of the goats as well as the
meat and make smooth-skinned Jacob feel like hairy-skinned Esau. a)
She also dressed Jacob in Esau’s garments so he would smell like
his outdoorsman brother. b)
“My son, let the curse fall on me” was her word of encouragement
to Jacob (v. 13), but little did she know what she was saying. c)
For after Jacob left for 2.
Rebekah’s philosophy was “The end justifies the means.” a)
There’s no place for deception in the life of the believer; for
Satan is the deceiver (2 Cor. 11:3), but Jesus Christ is the truth (John 14:6).
“Blessed is the man … in whose spirit is no deceit” (Ps. 32:2). III. Children Who Were Selfish A. Jacob lied to get what he wanted (Genesis 27:18-29) 1.
Jacob’s concern wasn’t “Is it right?” but “Is it safe?” a)
He was worried about the Eleventh Commandment: “Thou shalt not
get caught.” 2.
Jacob was only obeying his mother, but he could have refused and
suggested that they just face the situation honestly and confront Isaac. a)
But once Jacob donned Esau’s clothes and took the savory meal
in his hands, the die was cast and he had to play the part successfully. b)
See how one lie led to another, for deception can be defended
only by more deception. 3. He lied about his name (Genesis 27:18-19) a)
Did Isaac ask for identification because he was hard of hearing?
b)
Probably not (v. 22); it’s likely he was starting to get suspicious
because he didn’t expect Esau to return so quickly from the hunt (v. 20). c)
Furthermore, the voice he heard didn’t sound like the voice of
Esau. d)
That’s when Jacob told his first lie: He claimed to be Esau. 4. He lied about the food and the Lord (Genesis 27:19-20) a)
He claimed to have obeyed his father’s wishes (lie 2), and he
called the goat’s meat “my game” (lie 3). b)
He even gave credit to the Lord for helping him find it so quickly (lie 4). c)
He not only lied about himself, but he also lied about the Lord!
d)
To use the Lord to cover up sin is blasphemy. 5. He lied again about his identity and about his love (Genesis 27:21-27) a)
Unwilling to trust his ears, Isaac felt Jacob’s hands and mistook
goatskin for human hair, and Jacob assured him again that he indeed was Esau (lie
5). b)
How tragic it is to see a son so dishonor his father! c)
After Isaac had eaten the meal, he asked Jacob to kiss him, and
that kiss was the sixth lie, for it was hypocritical (Luke 22:48). 6.
God wants us to be ourselves, to fulfill His will for us by
letting our own personalities and contributions shine through our lives. a)
He does not want us living a lie, neither trying to be
someone else nor trying to sound like someone else. b)
This is not the way to bring about God’s will in our lives. c)
God has made each of us distinctive with distinctive gifts
and abilities and with a distinctive contribution to make to society. B. Esau’s only priority is self (Genesis 27:30-40; 1.
It didn’t take long for Isaac and Esau to discover the conspiracy,
but each man responded differently. a) Isaac trembled greatly (Genesis 27:30-33) (1)He knew that the Lord had
overruled his selfish plan so that his favorite son did not get the blessing.
b) Esau wept and begged for a blessing (Genesis 27:34-40) c)
The man who despised his birthright and married two pagan women
now weeps and cries out for his father to bless him. (1)It wasn’t his fault, of course;
it was his crafty brother’s fault. (2)When in doubt, always blame
somebody else. d)
(1)Esau’s tears were not tears
of repentance for being an ungodly man; they were tears of regret because he had
lost the covenant blessing. (2)Esau wanted the blessing but
he didn’t want to be the kind of man whom God could bless! 2.
Esau’s sin was an attempt to change God’s will. a)
Esau did not want the will of God and His blessing enough... (1)not enough to change his
life (2)not enough to give God
priority in his life (3)not enough to begin
following God with all his heart IV. How should a family be founded? A. A marriage made with care (Genesis 24) 1.
Clearly defined principles a)
Knowing the will of God b)
Obeying the commands of God c)
Trusting the guidance of God 2.
Clearly stated commitment a)
The challenge to be committed b)
The choice to make a commitment 3.
Clearly expressed love a)
Unafraid to love b)
Unashamed to express B. Children bathed in prayer (Genesis 25) 1.
Isaac's prayer of request a)
Children are a gift from the Lord b)
Parents are stewards of the children 2.
Rebekah's prayer of anguish a)
Insight into God's purposes b)
Insight into her children C. When will a family flourish? 1.
When the father leads spiritually 2.
When the mother supports the father as a Godly woman 3.
When the children respect and honor their parents 4.
When the family gives itself to serve the Lord 5.
When the Lord gives His blessing |
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