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Part 6: Loving Your Significant Others 18And the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” 19So the LORD God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird. He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, and Adam chose a name for each one. 20He gave names to all the livestock, birds, and wild animals. But still there was no companion suitable for him. 21So the LORD God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam’s ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. 22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam. 23“At last!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.” 24This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25Now, although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame. Introduction: A.
The
Love of God 1. Loving God and Loving Self - Out of this relationship all others flow! a) It is agape love – a love that seeks only the best for the other person. b) 2. Genesis 2: - Not good for man to be alone – So God creates woman out of man – Out of this human relationship all other human relationships flow! I.
The
Problem of Loneliness A.
Understanding Loneliness 1. Loneliness is not the same as solitude... a) Solitude describes a situation where one is alone by CHOICE (1) To reflect, meditate, or simply enjoy solitary activites such as writing, drawing, reading, etc. (2) Every one needs some solitude from time to time b) Loneliness is a feeling of dissatisfaction with the quality and/or quantity of one's relationships with other people; it can be broken down into two types (1) Social loneliness - as when a person goes to college or takes a job in a new town and are isolated from friends and family (2) Emotional loneliness - when we feel that we have no one to talk to, no one who understands our deepest concerns and needs c) Other comparisons between loneliness and solitude: (1) Where solitude enriches and energizes, loneliness detracts and debilitates (2) Solitude can build a desire to involve one's self with society, whereas... (3) Loneliness often robs one of any such motivation (4) Loneliness can provoke a vicious cycle of despair so that the sufferer shys away from social contact and support needed to overcome 2. How people react to loneliness... a) Active solitude (1) Becoming engrossed in some activity that we enjoy and which enriches our lives (2) Such as listening to music, reading, exercising (3) This is a positive reaction to loneliness b) Social action (1) Such as calling or visiting a friend or relative; helping someone less fortunate (2) It is a deliberate action that breaks the isolation and involves us with others (3) This too is a positive reaction to loneliness c) Distraction (1) Doing something to take our minds off our sense of loneliness (2) Such as going for a drive, or going shopping (3) This is a more neutral reaction, and really only a temporary solution d) Sad passivity (1) This is where one continues to feel badly and does nothing to positively impact the problem (2) This can lead to a downward spiral of depression, and often includes sleeping too much, overeating and self-medicating (3) This, of course, is a negative reaction to loneliness B. “Good News” – John 16:32 1. No one needs to be convinced that loneliness is one of the great tragic themes of life today. a) So many novelists, poets, playwrights, and filmmakers have dealt with this theme that one wonders if the pulpit has anything new to add about sin in this area. b) Part of the good news of the Gospel is that meaningful relationships between "significant people"‑those with whom we live and work and play on a day by day basis‑made possible through the grace of God. 2. Christians need to respond positively to loneliness... a) Being lonely may be a symptom of a more serious problem b) When
one walks with God, they are never truly alone - John (1) 32Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. c) When one suffers from loneliness, it is an indication that their relationship with God and others may need some work. 3. There is nothing contemporary man wants more than to be rescued from estrangement with his fellowmen. a) It is precisely at this point that God's great promise to us in Christ is that we no longer have to be strangers. b) God's love for us in Jesus Christ, enables us to be vulnerable, to affirm ourselves and to affirm others. 4. Without Christ this is difficult! a) In secular society people talk about loneliness but not know how to deal with it. b) The walls of separation grow up between friends, between parents and children, between husbands and wives (1) because we cannot say the affirmative thing about someone else and (2) because we dare not reveal the things that we know to be true about ourselves. 5. The Church ought to be the place we find God's answer in terms of a deep, loving, meaningful, relationship with the significant others in life. a) But in the Church, sadly enough, we find people either denying their loneliness because it seems to them to be somehow "unchristian" or pretending to be better than they are and shutting the door to meaningful relationships based on honesty and transparency. 6. No one is lonelier than two Christians living together and pretending to be better than they are. a) Astonishing miracles have occur when Christians stop playing games and dare to appropriate the power that God has made available in Christ. b) Because of this power, they can love each other enough to reveal those things about themselves that could be threatening. 7. So where does God’s solution for loneliness begin? 8. Where
the problem first began, II.
God’s
Solution for Loneliness - Genesis
2:18-25 A.
A Companion – v. 18 1. This is a precious passage of Scripture! We find ... a) the need and desire (on Adam’s part) b) the caring and love (on God’s part) c) the promise and provision (by God) 2. v. 18 God planned woman. Woman was as much the creation of God as was man. a)
“So
God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male
and female created he them” (Genesis b) The creation of woman is discussed in great detail in the passage. Why? To establish and set the relationship between man and woman forever! c) Man and woman are bound together and are totally dependent upon each other. (1) One cannot exist without the other. (2) Man and woman desperately need each other. (3) God needed to reveal this fact for all generations. 3. God’s purpose is clearly stated in verse 18. a) Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone. b) The phrase “not good” means incomplete, unfinished, unfulfilled, and deficient. c) Therefore, it was not good for man to be alone. (1) Without woman, man would have no suitable companion for love and comfort. (2) Without woman, man would have no person with whom to share life. d) So this problem of loneliness, emptiness, incompleteness, unfulfillment is not new! e) It is at the root of all problems in life. 4. The
primary reason God planned the creation of woman was “for him”—for man
(Genesis a) Man was incomplete without a relationship with woman. b) Man desperately needed woman. c) Therefore, woman was created first and foremost for man. d) Companionship—being the partner of man—is woman’s primary function upon earth. e) This function exceeds all other purposes. 5. God also created the first two humans to be the parents of the human race. a) They were to live and work together as partners, helping each other every way they could. b) They were to picture just what God wants the race to be: one family. c) This is one of the major points or revelations God is making in this passage - True companions, living and working together as God’s family. 6. God’s plan for man and woman to help each other requires two things: a) The willingness to help. b) The willingness to receive and accept the offered help. (1) “Wherefore receive ye one another, as
Christ also received us to the glory of God” (Romans 15:7). (2) “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so
fulfil the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). (3) “Two are better than one; because they have
a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his
fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another
to help him up” (Eccles. 4:9-10). 7. There is no record of Adam complaining about his loneliness. a) He fellowshipped with God. God was all he knew, all he had. b) He made it enough. c) When and if we are forced to be alone, God will make His presence enough. (1) “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the
end of the world” (Matthew 28:20). (2) “Let your conduct be without covetousness;
and be content with such things as you have: for He Himself has said, “I will
never leave you, nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). (3) “And He said, ‘My presence shall go with
thee, and I will give thee rest’” (Exodus 33:14). 8. In His love for us God sees and cares. a) He saw Adam’s need, and He sees our need. b) If we walk with God as Adam walked, God will meet our need. c)
“Casting
all your care upon him; for he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). d)
“But
my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ
Jesus” (Philippians B. Man’s Need for Companionship – 1. God is relational and we were made relational by God when He created us – in the image of God! 2. When we are alone God shows us our need for companionship and relationships. 3. God’s made Adam alone to show man his great need for a companion just like himself. a) Picture Adam studying and observing the animals. b) At some point it dawns upon him that every living animal has a companion just like itself—except him. (1) Some persons give more attention and affection to animals than to their own spouses or children. (2) They substitute animals for relationships with those who are supposed to be their loved ones. (3) Dog owner’s prayer, “God, make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am.” c) This method of showing Adam his need for woman had a tremendous impact upon Adam. 4. It made Adam love and appreciate his wife far more than if God had created her at the same time he was created. Vv 22-25 a) When God created Eve, Adam was longing for her with an intense desire. b) Being alone caused him to know how desperately he needed a companion who was just like himself, a companion with his very own nature. III. God’s Purpose in Creating Woman (v. 18) A. God created the woman to explain the
basic need of every person. (v. 18a) 1.
Genesis a)
You cannot help but notice the striking
contrast between the original creation of God that is called “very good”
(Genesis b) From the beginning God intended to teach all people that it is not good to be isolated from other human beings. c) You may want to be alone at times, but to live that way, without human contact and personal relationships, is not the original intention of God. 2. Proverbs 18:1 “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.” a) The truth is, we all need friends, people with whom we can share our ideas, dreams, goals, burdens, struggles, and needs. b) Men can be close friends with other men, and women with women. c) But it is interesting to see that God started with male and female. d) There is a need in all males for female companionship and relationship, and the same need in females for male friendship. 3. Be sure to understand that without God’s laws for these relationships, society would be harmful to the very relationships which we all desire and need. a) The problems come when self‑gratification becomes the motive for male‑female relationships. b) When the only motive is sexual, the relationship can easily be destroyed and damage our other relationships with God, self, and others. B. God created the woman to establish the
motivation behind all male-female relationships. (v. 18b) 1. God said “I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 2. The original plan of God is beautifully portrayed by that simple word “helper.” a) This is at the root of all good relationships in life! b) All relationships, but especially Male‑female relationships would greatly improve for us if it were our sincere desire to be a “helper” rather than a hindrance. (1) You
know why Adam and Eve’s marriage worked so well, don’t you? (2) The
woman never talked about all the men she could have married and the man never
talked about how good a cook his mother was! c) To give rather than receive fulfills God’s original purpose for male‑female relationships. d) The goal is not to use people to meet our needs, but to do all we can to help the other person become all that God wants that person to be – to seek the very best for them the way God does! e) This is the formula for a lasting marriage relationship! 3. This helper role is clarified somewhat by the phrase “comparable to him” (literally “face to face”). a) The New American Standard Bible says “suitable” to him. b) There is an interdependency that is present when male-female relationships are what God intended them to be. IV. The Marriage Relationship in God’s
Kingdom A.
Husband’s
Love for His Wife 1. Wants the best for her – fulfill her needs as God sees them. B. Woman’s Love for Her Husband 1. Wants the best for him – fulfill his needs as God sees them. V.
The
A.
A
Father’s Love for His Children B. A Mother’s Love for Her Children C. Children’s Love for Their Parents VI. The Spiritual A.
Spiritual
Fathers and Mothers B. The Discipling Relationship C. The “Friends” Relationship |
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