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Family Prayer Matthew 7:7-8; Introduction: What hurts your family life more that any other thing? The problem: lack of prayer No matter how strong a
person may be in his prayer life, if he does not “come out of the closet”
with his praying, then he has a limited ministry and a limited view of
prayer. The pray-er should pray with his family. The family unit is a
deteriorating and vanishing structure in the world today. The family of today
differs significantly from the family of only twenty‑five years ago.’ The once considered
average family unit where the household was made up of a stay at home
housewife mother, a wage‑earning father, and no stepchildren is now on
the verge of extinction. Surveys show that only
seven per cent of American homes have that mix. Today more than fifty per
cent of the nation’s mothers work outside the home. If the present rate of
divorce continues, one child in six will lose a parent through divorce by the
time he is eighteen. The fragmented family is
in desperate need of prayer. The solution: pray in our families! Statistics drastically
show a glaring due to the solution: “one
out of every two marriages end in
divorce.” according to Harvard sociologist,
Dr. Piterim Sorokin, “but for those families who have
prayer and Bible study there is only one divorce in 1015 marriages.” The family unit is a
critical area where prayer ministry can be dramatically felt. When you begin to pray,
you will always see an unusual work of the Lord. Guidelines for a family prayer ministry A definite time First, family prayers
should have a definite time each day and week within the family schedule. You should pray with your
spouse daily. This alone may encourage
the mate to be victorious where defeat might be expected. Praying with your spouse
only works where good communication exists. Family prayers will make
your personal devotions better. When the family prays
together, the individual members will definitely be affected. Nothing encourages a
personal prayer life like family praying Family prayers should,
also, fit the family’s situation. There is no way that a
set prayer time can be suggested. Each family is different.
Perhaps some general suggestions can at least be made. Mealtime is a good time
for prayer. A brief prayer before a
meal is a start of your family prayer life. Prayer after the meal
with a devotional or motivational thought would be good, too. Bedtime would be another
good time for prayer. The thoughts that one has
just prior to going to bed have a continual influence upon a person. Prayer before bedtime
will have an influence upon a person all through the night. I discovered fairly early
that only a few families practice family devotions. As a matter of fact, the
fact that the “family altar” is exceedingly rare among Christians‑even
among ministers and leaders. The usual excuse people
make is that they cannot find a time when all the family will remain still
together for a few minutes. Time, of course, is a
major problem in the hectic diversity of activities‑church, business, sports,
television, educational activities‑that most families feel obligated to
maintain. There can be no question
that time is a serious, difficult, major problem. But the lack of mutual
prayer together is a more serious, difficult, and weighty problem. Families will not establish the practice of ‑family
devotions until they become convinced that it is more important than their
other activities. The problem of prayer-less families is only a symptom of the larger problem of
prayer-less people. The key to prayer with
the family is to discover a time when one can pray with the family as a unit
and with members of the family as individuals. We have found the early
morning to be ideal. I usually rise in the
early hours of the morning (which means I must go to bed early‑and I
do). My wife also gets up
early. Often we will eat a
simple breakfast to allow more time for our devotions together. Then after breakfast we
enjoy our time together with the Lord. It gives me a security
about my day that is irreplaceable. By the time I get going,
I have realized anew that God is still on His Throne. I also have experienced a
sense of His love for me and His provision for my day’s needs. I have secured the
encouragement of my wife’s prayers, and I know that she will continue to pray
with me and for me as I face the day. If a family cannot manage
an early‑morning time, with children to get to school, then sometime
during the evening they might work it in. The sacrifice of one
television program is not much to give up for the value of time with the
Lord. Ideally, if it is in the
evening, the best time would be right after dinner or just before bedtime. Bottom line is, if it is
a high priority for you as a parent you will be creative and will have and
will make the time. Disciple Making – first teach to pray! What we need in the
church and in our lives are models. If godly men and women
would determine that their families
could become models for other families, we might see a movement developing. I would like to suggest
that you firmly commit your home to family prayer and that you enlist others
in the church to do the same. Prayer should be on a
daily basis with the children. Very few children in the
world today have before them a consistent praying parent. Since prayer is the on‑the‑job
training program of God for future reigning with His Son, it should be
employed with the child at the earliest possible age. Children need a strong
intercessor as a parent and they need to hear you praying for them!. Definite times each day
and each week will depend upon each individual family situation. Several people have
confessed to me that they do not have family devotions because they are self‑conscious
about it. Often the father feels he
is supposed to be a teacher in that situation but that his wife knows so much
more about the Bible than he that he is embarrassed. Both the husband and wife
must be supportive of prayer in the home – share that responsibility. Help each other provide
spiritual leadership for the family. A time of mutual sharing. After you read a Bible
passage together, let each person share and discuss prayerfully opinions and
ideas about what you have read,
about your life together,
about the church, about how the Lord works
through our prayers, or about family and friends who
need prayer – Christmas
cards. Do not feel obligated to
pose wise solutions or to appear spiritual. Simply talk. And then you all pray. Let there be great
freedom to simply be yourselves. Prayer binds a family
together as nothing else can. How to Start Family Prayer Decide to start, then start! If you are not now
praying as a family, and want to pray with them, then ask as the Lord Jesus
has commanded. “Ask, and you shall
receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you!” If all you can do is
start with one person in your family, then start with one person! Meet with your family and
admit your own failures in prayer with the family and then agree to change
with them. Do this without blaming
anyone else, and then discuss the remedy – how you can get started. Discuss it honestly, and
then stop and pray together right there. New habits will have to
be formed and old ones broken. This takes practice and
concentration. Prayer’s function is to
put God at the center of your life, to forget yourself and the impression you
are making on others, and then to see Him at work in your life! As you open your own
heart you will find God’s love and joy healing the old hurt places. The place Because this is an informal
kind of prayer, the place too, should be informal. It should be a place
where you will be undisturbed. Any possibility of
disturbance will tend to check the ease and freedom of those praying, and
interrupt the line of thought. Turn off the telephone! Pray about the location
and the right answer will come. It will become a special
place in your home! The length of time The length of the prayer
meeting will vary and will be determined, each time, by the needs of the
family. Use conversational prayer!
As soon as your family
begins to see God answering their prayers, they will enjoy every minute and
wanted more. There is no greater joy
in life than to see God at work in your life answering prayer – to know that
He is there and that He cares for you!. The position Sitting around the table
draws people together in an easy yet intimate way. Sitting in a circle is
also good. Or kneeling by a sofa, or
at an altar. Scattered seating is to
be avoided – remember, we are members of one family!
How to make an actual
beginning. Explain to your family
what conversational prayer is, and why you want to pray this way. Always remind yourselves,
by a time of silence first, that you are actually in the presence of Jesus
Christ. Prepare your heart in
quiet worship. Don’t be afraid of
silence. He is there, and He
speaks in a still small voice. Then let someone open
with a prayer of thanks that That He is there with you
and you want to agree with Him. –
Chair for Jesus as a reminder! You have recognized His
presence in your individual hearts in silence. Let others give thanks
also, in sentence prayers. Give thanks first of all
for the Lord Himself, for what He is like, for Himself alone. Then for His gifts: for
eternal life, for some personal answer to prayer. Let the “asking” or
requests wait until everyone has joined one or more times in the
thanksgiving. This may take a little
reminding, as many people do not distinguish between worship and requests,
between the Giver and the gifts. Giving requests Stating prayer requests
to the family before you start to pray can be a time‑consuming and
evasive practice. I can remember prayer
meetings when the giving of requests lasted three times longer than the
actual praying. It apparently is much
easier to tell our problems to one another than to God. “Unspoken requests” can
also be evasive, and tend to draw the person who gave them farther off into
his or her lonely position. As members of God’s
family we are told to “bear one another’s burdens.” How can we do this unless
we know the burdens others are carrying, and unless we make known our own
burdens? Norman Grubb says that
the man who has a definite desire or need is the man who has the faith to do
the asking. As soon as one has prayed
about his own burden, another in the family should pick it up and pray, too,
mentioning the person by name. Let as many as feel led
by the Holy Spirit pray for this person until he or she is able to give
thanks, or until there is freedom for someone else to introduce a new subject
of prayer. Agreeing in prayer We agree that God’s will
be done. How do we know when we
have agreed? We agree by saying so
when we pray. We do not need to explain
things to God in prayer because He knows everything. If you need to explain
things to each other, then stop praying for a moment and do the explaining. Conversational praying,
is very natural, so whatever comes up, keep things natural. We may need to remind
each other as we pray of the Lord and of His promises. The starter and the
finisher Notice I did not say
“leader” because the one who starts and finishes is not really a “leader” at
all. It is the work of the
Spirit to guide. You should be sensitive,
aware of the moving of the Spirit in the family As he feels moved by the
Spirit, ask others to start and finish occasionally, teaching them! Prayer subjects Worship, thanksgiving,
praise to God: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Prayer for our loved
ones. Prayer for our own
personal needs or projects. Prayer for each other
(i.e., ask each one to pray for the person to his right or left). Prayer for your pastor
and your church. Prayer for those involved
in a current newspaper account of a tragedy, etc. Prayer for our nation,
our statesmen, our missionaries. Silence ‑ pauses Someone has said, “Right
prayer demands a quieting of the whole being.” We need to learn to be
quiet, and to be consciously aware of Jesus Christ. We cannot pray quietly if
we are in a hurry to get going again. It is in the silences,
between prayers, that He speaks to us, and that our communion with Him purges
and renews us. Talk about this aspect of
prayer with your family! We should give audible
thanks after such a time of silence. When no one is praying
audibly, all should be praying silently, and should be so instructed. We are not there
primarily to “get things” but to realize God’s presence. This is the greatest
answer to prayer, that we are consciously aware of the Great Shepherd and His
unchanging love for us. |
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