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Family Prayer

Matthew 7:7-8; Matthew 18:19-20

 

Introduction:

 

What hurts your family life more that any other thing?

The problem: lack of prayer

No matter how strong a person may be in his prayer life, if he does not “come out of the closet” with his praying, then he has a limited ministry and a limited view of prayer.

The pray-er should pray with his family.

The family unit is a deteriorating and vanishing structure in the world today.

The family of today differs significantly from the family of only twenty‑five years ago.’

The once considered average family unit where the household was made up of a stay at home housewife mother, a wage‑earning father, and no stepchildren is now on the verge of extinction.

Surveys show that only seven per cent of American homes have that mix.

Today more than fifty per cent of the nation’s mothers work outside the home.

If the present rate of divorce continues, one child in six will lose a parent through divorce by the time he is eighteen.

The fragmented family is in desperate need of prayer.

The solution: pray in our families!

Statistics drastically show a glaring due to the solution:

one out of every  two marriages end in divorce.”

according to Harvard sociologist, Dr. Piterim Sorokin, “but for those families who have prayer and Bible study there is only one divorce in 1015 marriages.”

The family unit is a critical area where prayer ministry can be dramatically felt.

When you begin to pray, you will always see an unusual work of the Lord.

2 Chronicles 7:14 - 14if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

 

Guidelines for a family prayer ministry

A definite time

First, family prayers should have a definite time each day and week within the family schedule.

You should pray with your spouse daily.

This alone may encourage the mate to be victorious where defeat might be expected.

Praying with your spouse only works where good communication exists.

Family prayers will make your personal devotions better.

When the family prays together, the individual members will definitely be affected.

Nothing encourages a personal prayer life like family praying

Family prayers should, also, fit the family’s situation.

There is no way that a set prayer time can be suggested.

Each family is different. Perhaps some general suggestions can at least be made.

Mealtime is a good time for prayer.

A brief prayer before a meal is a start of your family prayer life.

Prayer after the meal with a devotional or motivational thought would be good, too.

Bedtime would be another good time for prayer.

The thoughts that one has just prior to going to bed have a continual influence upon a person.

Prayer before bedtime will have an influence upon a person all through the night.

I discovered fairly early that only a few families practice family devotions.

As a matter of fact, the fact that the “family altar” is exceedingly rare among Christians‑even among ministers and leaders.

The usual excuse people make is that they cannot find a time when all the family will remain still together for a few minutes.

Time, of course, is a major problem in the hectic diversity of activities‑church, business, sports, television, educational activities‑that most families feel obligated to maintain.

There can be no question that time is a serious, difficult, major problem.

But the lack of mutual prayer together is a more serious, difficult, and weighty problem.

Families will not establish the practice of ‑family devotions until they become convinced that it is more important than their other activities.

The problem of prayer-less families is only a symptom of the larger problem of prayer-less people.

The key to prayer with the family is to discover a time when one can pray with the family as a unit and with members of the family as individuals.

We have found the early morning to be ideal.

I usually rise in the early hours of the morning (which means I must go to bed early‑and I do).

My wife also gets up early.

Often we will eat a simple breakfast to allow more time for our devotions together.

Then after breakfast we enjoy our time together with the Lord.

It gives me a security about my day that is irreplaceable.

By the time I get going, I have realized anew that God is still on His Throne.

I also have experienced a sense of His love for me and His provision for my day’s needs.

I have secured the encouragement of my wife’s prayers, and I know that she will continue to pray with me and for me as I face the day.

If a family cannot manage an early‑morning time, with children to get to school, then sometime during the evening they might work it in.

The sacrifice of one television program is not much to give up for the value of time with the Lord.

Ideally, if it is in the evening, the best time would be right after dinner or just before bedtime.

Bottom line is, if it is a high priority for you as a parent you will be creative and will have and will make the time.

 

Disciple Making – first teach to pray!

What we need in the church and in our lives are models.

If godly men and women would determine that their families could become models for other families, we might see a movement developing.

I would like to suggest that you firmly commit your home to family prayer and that you enlist others in the church to do the same.

Prayer should be on a daily basis with the children.

Very few children in the world today have before them a consistent praying parent.

Since prayer is the on‑the‑job training program of God for future reigning with His Son, it should be employed with the child at the earliest possible age.

Children need a strong intercessor as a parent and they need to hear you praying for them!.

Definite times each day and each week will depend upon each individual family situation.

Several people have confessed to me that they do not have family devotions because they are self‑conscious about it.

Often the father feels he is supposed to be a teacher in that situation but that his wife knows so much more about the Bible than he that he is embarrassed.

Both the husband and wife must be supportive of prayer in the home – share that responsibility.

Help each other provide spiritual leadership for the family.

 

A time of mutual sharing.

After you read a Bible passage together, let each person share and discuss prayerfully opinions and ideas 

about what you have read,

about your life together,

about the church,

about how the Lord works through our prayers, or

about family and friends who need prayer – Christmas cards.

Do not feel obligated to pose wise solutions or to appear spiritual.

Simply talk.

And then you all pray.

Let there be great freedom to simply be yourselves.

Prayer binds a family together as nothing else can.

 

How to Start Family Prayer

Decide to start, then start!

If you are not now praying as a family, and want to pray with them, then ask as the Lord Jesus has commanded.

“Ask, and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you!”

If all you can do is start with one person in your family, then start with one person!

Meet with your family and admit your own failures in prayer with the family and then agree to change with them.

Do this without blaming anyone else, and then discuss the remedy – how you can get started.

Discuss it honestly, and then stop and pray together right there.

New habits will have to be formed and old ones broken.

This takes practice and concentration.

Prayer’s function is to put God at the center of your life, to forget yourself and the impression you are making on others, and then to see Him at work in your life!

As you open your own heart you will find God’s love and joy healing the old hurt places.

 

The place

Because this is an informal kind of prayer, the place too, should be informal.

It should be a place where you will be undisturbed.

Any possibility of disturbance will tend to check the ease and freedom of those praying, and interrupt the line of thought.

Turn off the telephone!

Pray about the location and the right answer will come.

It will become a special place in your home!

 

The length of time

The length of the prayer meeting will vary and will be determined, each time, by the needs of the family.

Use conversational prayer!

As soon as your family begins to see God answering their prayers, they will enjoy every minute and wanted more.

There is no greater joy in life than to see God at work in your life answering prayer – to know that He is there and that He cares for you!.

 

The position

Sitting around the table draws people together in an easy yet intimate way.

Sitting in a circle is also good.

Or kneeling by a sofa, or at an altar.

Scattered seating is to be avoided – remember, we are members of one family!

 

How to make an actual beginning.

Explain to your family what conversational prayer is, and why you want to pray this way.

Always remind yourselves, by a time of silence first, that you are actually in the presence of Jesus Christ.

Prepare your heart in quiet worship.

Don’t be afraid of silence.

He is there, and He speaks in a still small voice.

Then let someone open with a prayer of thanks that Matthew 18:19-20 is true.

That He is there with you and you want to agree with Him.  – Chair for Jesus as a reminder!

You have recognized His presence in your individual hearts in silence.

Let others give thanks also, in sentence prayers.

Give thanks first of all for the Lord Himself, for what He is like, for Himself alone.

Then for His gifts: for eternal life, for some personal answer to prayer.

Let the “asking” or requests wait until everyone has joined one or more times in the thanksgiving.

This may take a little reminding, as many people do not distinguish between worship and requests, between the Giver and the gifts.

 

Giving requests

Stating prayer requests to the family before you start to pray can be a time‑consuming and evasive practice.

I can remember prayer meetings when the giving of requests lasted three times longer than the actual praying.

It apparently is much easier to tell our problems to one another than to God.

“Unspoken requests” can also be evasive, and tend to draw the person who gave them farther off into his or her lonely position.

As members of God’s family we are told to “bear one another’s burdens.”

How can we do this unless we know the burdens others are carrying, and unless we make known our own burdens?

Norman Grubb says that the man who has a definite desire or need is the man who has the faith to do the asking.

As soon as one has prayed about his own burden, another in the family should pick it up and pray, too, mentioning the person by name.

Let as many as feel led by the Holy Spirit pray for this person until he or she is able to give thanks, or until there is freedom for someone else to introduce a new subject of prayer.

 

Agreeing in prayer

Matthew 18:19-20 tells us to agree in prayer and we shall have an answer.

We agree that God’s will be done.

How do we know when we have agreed?

We agree by saying so when we pray.

We do not need to explain things to God in prayer because He knows everything.

If you need to explain things to each other, then stop praying for a moment and do the explaining.

Conversational praying, is very natural, so whatever comes up, keep things natural.

We may need to remind each other as we pray of the Lord and of His promises.

 

The starter and the finisher

Notice I did not say “leader” because the one who starts and finishes is not really a “leader” at all.

It is the work of the Spirit to guide.

You should be sensitive, aware of the moving of the Spirit in the family

As he feels moved by the Spirit, ask others to start and finish occasionally, teaching them!

 

Prayer subjects

Worship, thanksgiving, praise to God: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Prayer for our loved ones.

Prayer for our own personal needs or projects.

Prayer for each other (i.e., ask each one to pray for the person to his right or left).

Prayer for your pastor and your church.

Prayer for those involved in a current newspaper account of a tragedy, etc.

Prayer for our nation, our statesmen, our missionaries.

 

Silence ‑ pauses

Someone has said, “Right prayer demands a quieting of the whole being.”

We need to learn to be quiet, and to be consciously aware of Jesus Christ.

We cannot pray quietly if we are in a hurry to get going again.

It is in the silences, between prayers, that He speaks to us, and that our communion with Him purges and renews us.

Talk about this aspect of prayer with your family!

We should give audible thanks after such a time of silence.

When no one is praying audibly, all should be praying silently, and should be so instructed.

We are not there primarily to “get things” but to realize God’s presence.

This is the greatest answer to prayer, that we are consciously aware of the Great Shepherd and His unchanging love for us.

 

 

 

 

 

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